Aug 3, 2007
Naomi Wolf has written a rather graphic and heartfelt piece on the effects of pornography on the lives of Western people over at the New York Magazine. Her discussion centers around how pornography has affected the intimate relationships between men and women. A few quotes:
The young women who talk to me on campuses about the effect of pornography on their intimate lives speak of feeling that they can never measure up, that they can never ask for what they want; and that if they do not offer what porn offers, they cannot expect to hold a guy. The young men talk about what it is like to grow up learning about sex from porn, and how it is not helpful to them in trying to figure out how to be with a real woman. Mostly, when I ask about loneliness, a deep, sad silence descends on audiences of young men and young women alike. They know they are lonely together, even when conjoined, and that this imagery is a big part of that loneliness. What they don’t know is how to get out, how to find each other again erotically, face-to-face.
The article discusses how women feel they cannot measure up to the image of porn and how men are clueless about real relationships. The end of the article takes a surprising turn, even quoting from the Old Testament and discussing traditional views of sexuality. The final quote is hard breaking - indeed for so many, the honeymoon does not exist any longer.
“Mystery?” He looked at me blankly. And then, without hesitating, he replied: “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Sex has no mystery.”
God's design for our sexuality is mystery, glory and intimacy. He intends it to bring us together, produce children, give us pleasure in committed relationship and penultimately, to display the glory of God to husband and wife in marriage. Porn is everywhere - it is a bigger industry that pro football, baseball and basketball combined. I hardly meet a young man today who does not struggle with pornography. My counsel is this - for the sake of joy, for the sake of your relationships, for God's sake...we need a new dream for sex in our lives.
A year and a half ago we produced some short studies on sexuality and God. If they are of use to you, please feel free to reproduce them as you see fit.
- Dream a new Dream about Sex - MP3 audio
- Dream a new dream about Sex - study guide
- Additional file - A Biblical Vocabulary for Sex
(HT - Ben Schellack)
Comments
Great stuff Reid! As I get ready to go back to sensual Prague it's a reminder that I need to continue to fight for my own heart and the hearts of the men I'm working with over there! If us Americans have lost the mystery because of porn, then Europeans have passed us over once if not twice! But praise God that He has hard wired men in such a way where this can be one of the Gospel avenues into their, our, hearts. I was hit by the line in the article about the response the reporter got about loneliness. Oh how we need the Gospel and not merely four points but the fullness that speaks right into our souls that can restore the mystery, glory, intimacy and joy! Thanks again for the post!
Posted by: zach harrod | August 4, 2007 07:23 PM
Note that this article is almost four years old--it's from the October 20, 2003 issue of the magazine. This hardly diminishes its value. The other article on the New York magazine site (in the "related articles" box) "Not Tonight, Honey. I'm Logging On." is also well worth a read. I've been giving these articles to men in Munich for years. I've found that men with teenage sons are sometimes absolutely oblivious to what their sons might be viewing in their bedrooms online.
Posted by: Steve Henderson | August 5, 2007 09:48 AM
Steve, the other article was insightful (and sad) as well. Both of these are from October 03.
Posted by: Reid Monaghan | August 5, 2007 06:26 PM