Posted this today to some of my Jacob’s Well brothers…
Tonight I am heading out for a week with Mrs. Kasey Monaghan and the kiddos are staying with the grandparents here in NJ while we go have some fun. I wanted to share why I do this really quickly as I have been thinking about it some today.
#1 - My wife is fun, fly and fantastic
Remember, why you married that woman? You liked her a whole lot when you popped the big question. Marriage can take its toll on marriage without investing in your friendship and love together. I like my wife. I enjoy her company. I really don’t want to forget this over time as we raise kids, work jobs, go to bed exhausted day after day. Going away with Kasey without my kids allows me to focus on her heart, her joys, her longings, her soul. I think she is fly so we go enjoy one another.
#2 - I love my kids
I love my kids so much that it is painful. My baby duck Kayla still crawls up in my lap to snuggle even those she is about as tall as me. We love intellectual conversation and learning together…and don’t mind a few sporting events on the TV either. My sweetie Ky constantly makes me laugh, dazzles me with her cute artiness and fierce spirit. I am soft towards her - she makes me teary eyed happy. I want to crush anyone who would hurt her. My little buddy is a dynamo, clear thinker and master of Legos. He is quick witted and always up for kicking and wrestling with me. When they are with me all of them want my attention. When I take Kasey on vacation I don’t want my attention on them - so because I love my kids, I take Mom away without them. They probably have parents with a better marriage as a result as well.
#3 - I have a great family
Over the years of our marriage (we are on lap 16 around the sun now) my Mom and Kasey’s parents have served us in incredible ways to allow us to get away. Their sacrifice of time to let us break free is amazing and so appreciated. I think they have seen the fruit of this in our relationship and my hunch is that they love those grand kids as much, if not more, than we do. Win-Win. Kids get time with the grandparents (none of our family lives close by in NJ) and the grandparents get time with the kids. We can start telling them “no” again once we get back.
#4 - Having my wife feel like a lady
Kasey is part time taxi driver, teacher, soccer coach, domestic engineer and coordinator, friend and mentor. She carries a heavy load. I want her to drop all that for a week and get out and play a bit. We save money for this, we use tax refunds for this and we use a certain credit card (pay it off every month) to build up points for this. She is worth it. I want her to know that because I don’t always show it in all the ways I should.
#5 - Lovemaking (no elaboration here - none of your business)
Over the years we have done simple trips together when we just didn’t have any money. We have saved to take more vacation like vacations when were were able. Either way, because I like my wife, love my kids, have great family that helps and want my wife to feel special…we take vacations without our kids.
Yes, we do stuff with the kids as well, but I prioritize Kasey with the good trips.
PS: Full family vacations are awesome (ask Clark Griswald) and I am not advocating against anything. I am saying that getting away with just our ladies might be a good idea to stay close, connected and in deep friendship with our wives.